love never fails.

holy moly. i have 2 pages [front and back] left in my journal.

i started the journal on january 19, 2009. ohmygoodness. i’ve changed ALOT.

i realized that i was kind of…fake. it hurts to say it but i was living for jesus for the benefits. for what i wanted him to give me. and i knew that. but in my journal somewhere around the middle, God stopped giving me things. and gave me a slap in the face.

he said, JORDAN!!!! are you going to live for me because I saved you or are you going to just take the amazing things i have in store for you without giving back to me?

and it took me a few months to respond. more like….8 months. :P

toward summer 09 i really started LIVING. living for Jesus that is :)

He died for me, I’m living for Him.

and I can honestly say that now.

Thank you Jesus, for showing me what you have done in my life. you have forever changed me, and I look forward to getting to know you more and more and more.

Also, last night at youth group we talked about surrendering EVERYTHING. and I definitely made a promise to God that I am going to work on doing that. and I kind of started it last night by praying and making that promise. So I need to do that. forsureeeee.

Alright, there’s my story. :) ta ta!

GOD.IS.GOOD.

ohmygoodness. this week has been…..pretty awful.

people have been getting on my nerves wayyy more than usual. i got tests back in some classes and my grades are just awful..which makes school worse. alot worse. and i have auditions coming up that i need to practice way more than i have been. and sunday - thursday my stomach was just in awful pain. luckily [praise god] it was a little better today. and i’m exhausted.

this week has just been a big stress. which isn’t good. because to be honest…i’ve been dwelling way too much on this world..and not enough on the lord. it’s funny how when you’re doing bad, you dwell more on the bad instead of the positive like God, who could be helping.

so anyways. the verse that has really gotten me through this week is: “Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude.” 1 Peter 3:8 ♥

we should all be of ONE MIND. my mind has been…in ten thousanddd places this week. all over the place. and to be honest…i have alot of decisions to make. & i’m AWFUL at making decisions. i never feel at peace about them and feel like they’re wrong. but you know what? my ONE mind needs to be one God. my ONE thought needs to be what the lord thinks.

and that’s what i’ve been realizing tonight. :]

so hopefully from sleep and getting healthier / eating better this weekend…next week will be alot better.

and remember, love never fails.

This all isn’t settling right.

Why am I free?

Why did an innocent man, free of sin, die for me?

I’m guilty.

It’s plain and simple. It not only could have been me, it SHOULD have been me.

But why?

Why would he sacrifice himself, for me?

Why do I get to spend eternity with Him?

I’m blessed beyond compare.

It all just doesn’t add up though.

Why can I not pay Him back?

I want to do anything and everything for Him.

I want to live my life, for Him.

And that…

That I will do.

It makes no sense to live under cover.

HE DIED…FOR ME.

I will live full out for Him…because He died for me…

And that, I will forever be greatful for.

Thank you Jesus, thank you so much.

I love you beyond compare…

And I will live my life with love…

All for the glory of Your name.

why is this quote so true? why can’t we appreciate things until they’re gone, out of sight, and have no other chance to tell the person how much we love and appreciate them, or enjoy the situation and appreciate it for the time being.

i feel like i’m learning this more and more as things seem to be leaving my life so fast. i looked through a bunch of old letters the other day and it made me realize how much i appreciated old friendships. (that are gone). alot of family/friends have been passing away and i realize how big of a difference they’ve made in my life. (now that they’re gone). and just certain situations that you look back on and you’re like wow i wish i would have enjoyed that more, because that was a once in a lifetime thing.(but it’s gone).

it’s almost been a disappointing time in life, even though it’s been looking back on good things. i think it’s understandable, but it kinda makes my heart hurt. it’s an amazing lesson to learn though. i’ve been having to lean into the lord so much in order to not be regretting this all.

more and more, jesus is becoming my one and only, because he truly is the only one i can count on. truly. he will never fail. his love, friendship, and faithfulness will never come to ruin. and i will forever hold onto that. <3

the one thing i will never regret is my choice to follow jesus, and i WILL appreciate that forever, and that will never be gone. so i never have to use that quote to describe my relationship and time with jesus. because it is eternal :)

i think everyone should listen to I don’t Regret by BarlowGirl :) it rocks.

consider it joy. james 1:2-4 <3 :)

heisjealousforme:

suchaprettysmile:

Sometimes it is very hard to love. But that’s when I think about Jesus. How hard it must have been to contain all that power in human flesh, especially when it was being ripped open for people who spat in His face. I choose love, because He did.

-lamentations

:) this has been on my heart this week. it seems that in the world today people are in friendships/relationships but if something goes wrong..it just falls apart. it makes me so sad :( but in reality..it does NOT have to be this way. every relationship you are in at some point will have a fault. a problem will happen. and it may seem like the world is ending, but seriously, just pray. be faithful to the person and to that relationship and pray for the friendship, pray for the person, and pray that God will be in the situation.

i know this week i was really struggling with relationships but also with a certain situation. i started taking everything into my own hands and trust me — don’t do that. it just makes things worse. God WANTS to take care of your problems—but you need to talk to Him about it first. be submissive to Him—and He will be faithful back to you about whatever the worry or problem is.

I know from experience that if you are faithful to situations you are in, and think about them, CARE about them, and love and pray for them…things don’t fall apart very easily. :)

I’ll end with this song—Faithful by Brooke Fraser:

[CHORUS]
When I can’t feel you, I have learned to reach out just the same
When I can’t hear you, I know you still hear every word I pray
And I want you more than i want to live another day
And as I wait for you, maybe I’m made more faithful

[BRIDGE]
Show me how I should live this
Show me where I should walk
I count this world as lost to me
You are all I want
You are all I want.

Let this be our prayer<3

ahhhh yessss.

alright. let’s start with high school. high school is a time for learning and growing and finding out who YOU are. right? yes. :) okay so, does this mean we should totally try out everything to see who we are? not exactly. we definitely need to find out who God made us to be. this means alot of prayer, change, and getting rid of selfish ways. i’m definitely not there yet, to be honest. the point is, high school is not a time to blow it all off, and totally let ourselves go into the ways of the world. BAD IDEA. one of my favorite verses EVER says, “Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to god the Father through Him.” (colossians 3:17) THIS is what high school is about. here’s an encouragement i found in an insert in my bible: “public prayer is against the law in public schools in the United States. But private prayer cannot be legislated against or banned and is your right.  You can pray privately, and you acn live your christians life OPENLY in your public school.” AMEN. this is all so true.

with that said, let us talk about language :) to be brutally honest, people make stupid choices with the language they use. it just gets annoying. whoever told them they were cool, hip, or “in” by using that language, is wrong. it just sounds dumb. and most of it, doesn’t even make sense. just be kind with your words. it works so much better that way. to me, language seems to be almost an addiction. once you start picking certain words to add to your daily language, it’s hard to get them out of your vocabulary. oh and, jesus isn’t a bad word. but DON’T USE HIS NAME IN VAIN. please. it’s just not necessary. exodus 20:7—“You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.” today my friend heard someone say “Jesus!” and she said, “is my lord and savior! don’t use his name in vain! thanks!” i love that line. :) so yes, stop with the language. it’s just not necessary.

with this, the lord has taught me to love on people, no matter their background, language, anything. i can’t judge that. as you see above, language really bothers me. but i need to not let that get to my heart. so yeah. keep that in mind everyone! the lord does the ultimate judgement :) john 8:15—^”You judge by human standards; I pass judgment on no one.” this is so cool to think about. :)

yay! thanks for reading :)

haha. i have so much to blog about!

first of all, i’ve been so grateful for certain people lately. two especially. one of them is tegan clinton. she has just been so open to talk to lately, and i’m just realizing what an important friend she is to me:) i love her. the other is natalie barlow. she has been SUCH AN ENCOURAGEMENT to me since i’ve known her, and this past week especially. she just knows exactly what to say to me when i’m down, and what to say to make me happy, and it’s just crazy. because i haven’t even known her that long, and i feel like the lord is just connecting us well and helping us help each other :) love it. love her.

alright so. i’ve been going through a season in my life where it’s just been a struggle. each day just brings new drama, or stuff from the past, or just stuff along those lines. so at youth group last night we talked about joy. what a perfect topic :) i just felt a peace about alot in my life. and the song, trading my sorrows, was a super big encouragement to me. “I’m trading my sorrows, I’m trading my shame, I’m laying it down, for the joy of the Lord. I’m trading my sickness, I’m trading my pain, I’m laying it down, for the joy of the Lord.” :) that was just totally right on. especially because i’ve been missing my grandpa a super lot lately. it’s been 8 years today, since he died <3 even though i was young, I remember it so vividly. so praise god for giving me a joy thru the pain! :)

next topic :) listening to others with a genuine heart:

i sat down next to one of my friends last night and said, “Hey, How are you?” she responded, bad. but thinking she’d say good, I said oh that’s great! She then looked at my like I was crazy. I felt SO SO SO awful after that. and I realized we all really need to TRULY care about the answer people give us, even if it is as simple as asking how are you. because we want to be able to be there to help a friend out when the response isn’t ‘good’. the bible says, “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” (ephesians 4.29) I think sometimes it’s not a matter of not listening to each other, we’ve just become such a selfish world. we want to tell OUR story, make others laugh at OUR jokes, tell other people why WE had a good day, and we frankly have lost the humble love for each other. we need to get that back if we ever want to portray the love that jesus wants us to. it’s just a necessity. so i’ve been dwelling on that lately for sureeee.

(i’m going to continue a different page because the next two topics are kinda long but go together.) :)

tonight at youth group we had small groups. and my group went off on a little bit of a tangent talking about judging. & i loved it.

we talked about how someone can just be walking down the street, and you have NO clue who they are, and you just think bad thoughts about them. but the thing is, we don’t even know their heart. we just judge by appearance.

and that’s not what God wants. God judges the inside. he looks at the heart.

& if we start realizing how much we judge..as we do it..we can catch ourselves before we start judging, and slowly stop.

we also talked about how places where we feel more comfortable..like youth group for example..we judge wayyy less. because we know what to expect.  so if we bring that attitude to school, and on streets, and other places where we don’t know what to expect..we can show LOVE so much more. instead of hurting people.

also, we talked about how if you see someone picking on someone else..and you stand up forthe person being picked on..that’s so nice..but it only helps that one person. and the person who is picking on that person..is doing it for a reason..and need just as much IF NOT MORE love than the person being picked on. and showing THEM love..can save so many other people being picked on.

& if we have a hard time telling about our faith, then we can just be ourselves & show the love of the lord and it will completely work out & people will KNOW we are different and want that. someone can be thinking about you and how they want to be like you or come to your youth group just as you are thinking about howto reach out to them.

so yeah.

i know i rambled alot and that’s all jumbled. but there’s my heart for you :)

peace & love.

~jordan rose<3

okay. so this topic has been on my heart SO much. just the general, huge, broad topic of praising our creator.

:)

it’s such a happy, wonderful topic. just the thought of reading your bible, and God looking down on you thinking how happy he is that you’re reading his word. or serving on a mission trip. how happy the lord must be and say, wow, (insert your name here) you’re such a servant. i’m so proud of you. or worshipping the lord. lifting your hands up. and surrendering yourself. because you’re UNWORTHY of the love and forgiveness God has so graciously given you.

this weekend I visited a college. and i was in their chapel service. and usually..worship for me is super spontaneous. and lift my hands up when i feel led to. but the worship leader said: “can everyone do me a favor? just listen up for a second, and follow this. close your eyes. now if you want to follow jesus with ALL YOU HAVE and completely surrender EVERYTHING…lift both your hands up” and then he waited about 5 seconds. and said: open your eyes. i literally was tearing up like crazy. i was standing in the balcony..so looking over upon everyone SURRENDERING (think about it!) to the lord..was incredible to say the least.

last weekend, i went to camp awana, my youth group winter retreat..and we listened to this song all night during the friday night service. it’s called: Alabaster Box by: CeCe Winans. it’s so incredible. my favorite line is:

So now I’m giving back to Him all the praise He’s worthy of .
I’ve been forgiven and that’s why I love Him so much.

That’s what I’m going to try to live out as now. It’s inspired me alot. <3

love never fails.

love you all. ~~jordan rose<3 :) (i’ve been loving my middle name lately…)

Here comes the letdown Christmas is over
Here comes the meltdown there goes the cheer
but before we have a breakdown let us remember
the Light of the World is still here

So, Happy Day After Christmas
Merry rest of the year
Even when Christmas is over
The Light of the World is still here

Come January I’m ready for summer
Super bowl’s over, I’ll settle for spring
sometimes we all need a change in the weather
but it won’t change the reason we sing

Happy Day After Christmas
Merry rest of the year
Even when Christmas is over
The Light of the World is still here

So take down the stockings, take back the sweaters
take down the lights and the star and the tree
But don’t let this world take your joy after Christmas
Take joy to the world and just sing

Happy Day After Christmas
Merry rest of the year
Even when Christmas is over
The Light of the World is still here

-MW 

:):)